· Guests apologizing to the them for making them wait
· Guests offering to pay more because they can see the hotel is over-booked
· Guests switching off lights to help the environment
· Guests learning the SOPs of the hotel
· Guests offering to complete all formalities, fill up all paper-work, bring all identification in triplicate duly signed and authenticated before check In.
· Guests just happy to be served. Not asking for anything more fancy like personalization or VIP treatment.
· Robots handling customers complaints. Maybe rajni!!
· Bosses offering to stand at the counter because my feet hurt
· A no make up day! lets all accept humanity with all its flaws. If guests can come to the hotel without any make up, why cant the staff?
· Guests eating in the staff cafeteria. This will make hotel managers/owners give us some decent food.
· 4 work-day week – 6 hours a day. that it, cant stand this place!
· Bonus payments everytime the hotel does more than 60% occupancy
· Free soap for all staff- actually add chocolate and tequila too!
· Coffee and doughnuts at the front desk – for the front desk
· Guests complaining on facebook…maybe poke.. but not too hard
· Group check ins on twitter..actually make that ‘your food is ready’ tweet for f&b guests.
· Guests clean up after themselves. How old are you? four?? Come on!
· Guns. Training in firing guns. Who knows..with the way the world is, I should be allowed to protect myself.
· Only cash transactions. Come on!! No one leaves tips anymore.
· Tip calculator, everywhere.
· Revenue management for salaries! Yeah, that’s right… I want you to pay higher when you need me the most!!
· Working from home. Just put up a giant screen on the front desk, I will log in from home and work through web-camera!!
· New hotels in my home town. I am tired of living in big ugly cities. Why cant you open large, fvie star deluxe hotels in my home town? Then I can work and have a life!
· Automatic increment and promotions. So many people higher up the hierarchy never die sorry retire or leave. We like the govt model. If we are still around, promote us every 3 years.
· Cooler uniforms. Seriously! who the hell wears what you make us wear anymore? We look like morons, or worse bollywood exrtras in a dance sequence! We want to wear regular clothes that common people wear – levis jeans and tommy tees!
· Jimmy choos. If you don’t know why we need better shoes, you are not from this industry
· No more entertaining – no more coffee or lunch or dinner by the guest relations. We don’t like that much. If we did like you (the guest), this hotel is not where we could come for a dinner!
· No more war stories from managers. You may have done a 48 hours shift, managed a 1000 cover party all by yourself and cleaned 10000 rooms in one shift, but that was because nobody loved you and you had nowhere to go. we – the current generation thank you very much – have a life.
· Pay us royalty for recording us in you CCTV – yeah that’s right! We know the managers use it as in-house entertainment.
· One me- one boss. I cannot try and show like I listen to the assistant manager, the deputy assistant manager, the manager, the executive assistant manager, the director of managers, the resident manager, the deputy general manager, the general manager etc etc. Choose one, that is the person I will ignore.
· Use my name. I hate the name tag, feel like cattle being tagged, but if you are going to tag me, then use the bloody name. don’t sweety me, don’t honey me. There is a name on the tag. P.s. it takes just a glance to read it. don’t try and seek the meaning of life while you stare at it.
· There will be days when I don’t feel like smiling. I just don’t. I am sure you do too. So, you don’t smile when you don’t want, I wont when I don’t want to. Ok.
· If fire fighters, cops, teachers and all govt employees can sleep when there is no one around, I too want to! If there is no customer in the restaurant, or if no one needs front office assistance, I will take a nap.
there is more but considering all management is from the last century, we will print it and send it.